For the Kids: Parent’s Simple Guide to Nurturing Presence in Children
As a parent of two, and with my own experiential challenges in this world, I also worry about how best to properly raise children. Throughout the day, information comes to children from every angle. Much of this information is intended to influence them, changing their thinking and feeling, and manipulating them into doing things. It’s not all bad. There is good information and influence which children should absorb. Unfortunately, most information seems bad. So what does this mean for parents?
I suppose we can continue to play wack-a-mole. “Shut that TV show off”, “No more iPad”, etc. I guess to some extent, we always need to do this, as I don’t think it’s possible to block our children from everything without locking them in their bedroom all day. So what else can parents do?
Well, to start, I think we can first ponder the importance of not just attending to our children's physical and intellectual needs, but also tending to something far more greater….. their spiritual needs. As a father, I can see that as my 2 children continue to navigate the world around them, they too come face to face with a myriad of distractions, pressures, and influences. They have begun to experience confusion.
So, it became clear to me that teaching them ways to realize and connect with their true SELF (beyond their mind and body) was not just important but essential for their ability to continue to grow, learn, and experience the world without being impacted by the onslaught of negative influences. These teachings enable them to realize their True Self, which, when realized, brings them closer to unconditional happiness. In addition, this realization makes them more immune to the ferocious onslaught of influence. They learn to see it for what is, ephemeral phenomena that dies without their attention. They see it from an imperturbable place, the Self.
The Importance of Awareness
In today’s world, external stimuli are constant, overwhelming, and addictive to the unobserved mind, the playground of the Ego. This is not just a Childs problem. It’s an adult problem, and really a human problem. I know people in their 50s who have no realization that THEY ARE NOT THEIR MINDS.
Now imagine this challenge for children. Without a footing in their TRUE SELF, children can easily become lost in their minds, leading to feelings of anxiety, confusion, and fear. The disconnection with their true Selves not only impacts their emotional health but can also hinder their ability to make thoughtful decisions, develop empathy, and live a life of inner peace. Recognizing this, I embarked on a mission to integrate self-awareness practices into our daily life, developing my children with the tools they need to navigate life's daily challenges with grace, wisdom, and peace, anchored in a connection with their true Self.
My journey began with a simple yet profound tool. Language. Simple language. Words. And Time. We waste so much time. I discovered that, instead of wasting routine time, I can share simple words and phrases with my children, and that these words can act as powerful catalysts for development of their awareness and realization of their true Selves. Thus, for my fellow parents out their, I compiled a list of simple phrases designed to gently guide children towards moments of Self realization, happiness, and peace. I mean, isn’t this really what we all want for them, and for ourselves?
Simple Phrases, Profound Impact
Here are some of the phrases that have become our daily mantras, each one a beacon guiding my children back to their center:
"Notice how you're feeling, like spotting a rainbow in the sky." This teaches them to observe their emotions without judgment, fostering their emotional intelligence.
"Imagine your thoughts are like bubbles, and just watch them float away and pop." Helps them understand the transient nature of thoughts, reducing anxiety and stress.
"Take a deep breath in, like you're smelling your favorite cookie." Makes breathing exercises relatable, emphasizing the calming power of breath, and its power to bring them into the present moment.
"Listen to the sounds around you as if you're a detective on a mission." Brings them to present moment awareness by encouraging active listening.
"Feel your feet on the ground, like a superhero charging up to fly high into the sky." Provide a feeling of being grounded in the present moment.
"Check in with your mind. What's it saying, like a secret message?" Promotes introspection of inner dialogue, crucial for growing self-awareness.
"Remember, it's okay to feel sad or mad sometimes, they are just clouds, and you are the Sun." Validates their feelings, and teaches them they are transitory.
"Tell yourself something kind, like whispering a secret to a friend." Helps them realize that their true Self has a choice in what to think. It also promotes self-compassion.
It’s also important to note: these practices are not just about helping them find calm when they are feeling bad. It’s also about planting seeds for their future where they can approach life with a deeper sense of Self awareness, compassion, resilience, and peace.
Why This Matters for Parents Everywhere
As parents, our role extends beyond providing for our children's material needs. We are also the guardians of their inner worlds, and a big part of this is teaching them the spiritual tools they need to thrive in the world. By fostering an environment where self-awareness is continuously learned and applied, we prepare our children to face the world not just with intelligence and skill, but with hearts full of love, empathy, resilience, and a deep connection to their true Selves.
In sharing our story, I hope to inspire other parents to embark on a similar journey with their children. The rewards are immense—a generation of mindful, aware, and emotionally intelligent children—I cannot think of another destiny more worthy of our time. Together, we can create a world where the true Self is not lost amid the noise of the world, but instead developed, celebrated and cherished, one beautiful moment at a time.
I am enjoying this journey with my children, and I hope it is something that can have a profound impact for your families as well.