The Art of Subtraction - Letting Go and Becoming More
Awakening is not something to be gained. It is something that always exists, covered by a complex web of identifications and attachments that cover it up. It can be likened to the Sun, which always exists, but whose appearance is covered by clouds. Most of us live “cloudy” lives, and we continue to look for peace and happiness in the clouds. Awakening and spirituality transcend the common notion of adding external practices, beliefs, or rituals to one's life. They are not about accumulating knowledge, experiences, or even material symbols of piety. They are, at their core, a journey of subtraction. It’s letting go, and it requires an urgent and devoted willingness to identify and peel away the layers of conditioning, beliefs, habits, and attachments that shroud our true Selves. Peeling layers. Dropping useless and self destructive non-essentials. By doing so, one embarks on a path of self-discovery, where the ultimate revelation is the unadulterated, innocent, pristine essence of being that exists beneath these accumulated layers. It’s that place that feels really good.
The Art of Subtraction in Spirituality
The process of spiritual subtraction is not about denying oneself the pleasures or engagements of life. We are human beings, and when we experience life from the inner radiant presence of being, there is no wrong in pleasure or other common joys in life. The Ego is subdued, or better yet, absent, even better - Dead. The process of Subtraction is about discerning what truly serves one's highest good. It involves a meticulous examination of one’s life, determining ones values and purpose, and then identifying and letting go of anything that no longer aligns with one’s deepest truths and values. This process, while challenging, can be done. With more and more subtractions comes a profound sense of freedom, peace, and love.
Examples of Subtraction in Various Life Areas
Here are examples of areas in your lives that can be examined. For each area, determine what you really want. Then think about what you're doing that is not aligned to what you really want (i.e., bad thinking, had habits that get in the way, etc) and LET THEM GO. SUBTRACT THEM!
1. Mental Beliefs
Probably the most important area. I guess you can say it’s foundational, because what we think and believe impacts all other areas of life. The common phase is “we are what we think and believe”, and there is some truth to this, but only when you are operating from the mind, and from the ego. The REAL TRUTH is you are what is witnessing the mind. And from the realization of that witnessing presence, you can examine and change the habitual mental beliefs you experience.
So sit down and stop doing anything. Quiet down and realize that Witness. The space between thoughts. Its realization comes with a deep sense of quiet and presence. Then, from that Witnessing Presence, examine your mental beliefs. Write them down. Write them all down, whether they are good beliefs, or bad beliefs. The goal is to really examine your habitual thinking, after which you can make a conscious effort to subtract the ones that are not aligned with your values and purpose.
What have I dropped over the years? “I’m not smart enough”. “I’m too shy”. “I cannot perform in bed”. “Nobody has time to raise their children”. “I have to work 12 hours a day to advance”. “I need to dress very nice to have respect”. “I need a big house”. “My boss is out to get me fired”. All just a bunch of nonsense I’ve come to believe over the years. Trust me, that’s just a few examples, there are tons more.
The amount of nonsense that consumes our mind is incredible. It cannot be allowed to run unchecked. It must be accounted for. The good thinking and belief must be cultivated. The bad must be weeded out. Subtract them.
2. Emotional Baggage
Emotions are difficult. Many people suffer from the inability to even see them, let alone control them. It also seems that society has over embraced emotion, urging people to continue feeling them, accepting them as normal, even going so far as to embrace having public spectacles of them.
I’m sorry, I just don’t agree. I find it hard to believe that God wants us to continue poisoning ourselves with negative emotions. Hate? Anger? Jealousy? Envy? Aren’t these like the 7 deadly sins?
The focus of emotion should instead be about feeling good. Feel love. Feel deeply with a passionate lover. Feel incredible joy by empathizing with the success of a close friend or co-worker.
So, take a moment, and again from the Witnessing Presence, examine your emotions. Write them down. What made you mad today? What made you feel incredible joy? How do you want to feel? How do you want to feel about yourself, your significant other, your kids, your career, your mother and father, your boss, your neighbor. How do you want to feel about a random stranger?
How do these feelings align with your values and purpose? What feelings do not align with your values and purpose? Subtract them.
For a useful exercise in Letting Go of these emotions, see my “Magic of Balloons’’ post here.
3. Material Possessions
It’s common for humans to accumulate too much stuff. Big homes, closets and attics full of clothes, 15 pairs of shoes, credit card bills. More often than not, these things require regular organizing, care, and payment. You don’t need to throw it all away. But you should think hard about the things you really value, and subtract the rest. Over my life, I’ve simplified overaccumulation in areas that I didn’t really value. Half my dresser holds all the clothes I need. I can really enjoy a non luxury Japanese sedan. A cozy home where everyone is in line of sight is more valuable and enjoyable to me than a huge home where everyone occupies their own corner. I like fighting my kids for the bathroom.
So, this is really about understanding what you really value materially, and subtracting anything you don’t value.
4. Social Circles
There is also a tendency for people to over extend themselves with respect to social circles. We meet many people in our lives. Cousins, neighbors, co-workers, friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, parents of our children’s friends. As we share experiences with this vast network of people, we find ourselves being invited for more. We also find ourselves being obligated to include them in future activities and events.
As you spend more time with people, you become aware of their values and tendencies, as well as their impact on you. Some people will have a bad impact on you. Their values are not aligned to you. Maybe they were at one time, but not anymore. Through my life, I’ve spent too much time with people who are excessively vain, competitive, talkative, comparative, argumentative, confrontational, and political. Others are just aimless, who just want to pass the time with excessive food, drinks and a movie.
I also found people who are well aligned to my values. They listen and seek to understand. The are open minded. They seek to teach and to learn from a relationship. They are hardworking, successful, yet modest. You spend time together and you come away with a strong feeling for your relationship. You look forward to spending more time together, yet you don’t feel any obligation to immediately do so.
So, if you feel like you are being pulled towards too many social circles, particularly circles you really don’t enjoy, take a step back. From the witnessing presence, evaluate your relationships to see what is working and what is not working. Seek and nurture those which are more aligned to your values and purpose. Subtract those that are toxic or no which longer resonate with your path.
5. Professional Life
Work can be a breeding ground of confusion. Particularly if you work for an organization, the need to subtract things is critical to professional success and work/life balance.
One common pitfall is lack of purpose and direction that drives the goals of the day. People spend their days attending fruitless meetings where nothing is decided. Working to put out daily fires ensues. Higher ups speak behind closed doors to conceal their incompetence. These types of work environments lead to bad thinking and inner talking. What’s the purpose here? Where are we going as a company? Where I am going as a professional? People lose hope, and work becomes a 9-5 prison activity. People do enough to not get fired (hopefully).
Professional life is one of he most important areas to subtract things from. To start, find out what is most important to the company and your boss. If you don’t know, ask questions and find out. After you find that out, do NOTHING else unless it is aligned to your bosses wishes. Subtract all else, and do that well. Also, subtract all bad thinking about work. Even if you don’t agree with your companies leaders, do what they ask, or find a new job. While your working there, your mindset (after all the subtraction) should be to serve your subject matter expertise. Serve the needs of the company and your boss. That’s it.
And if your not happy there, look for a place that is aligned to your values and purpose. We all have different goals for our professional life. Some of us want to grow and advance in the corporate world, so take your time and find a place that is conducive to that. When you get there, do what your boss needs to the best of your ability. Others may not have a desire to move up the ranks, but just want to continue performing their craft/subject matter expertise. That is fine as well, there is nothing wrong with that. But make sure that is what you want. Decide that clearly in your mind and do it. Do it well, and at the expense of all other things at work. Subtract all other distractions. If you properly center your mindset at work, it will be more enjoyable and rewarding. You will get much more done. And, more often than not, you will be rewarded.
No more complaining about work. Its dumb. You spend much of your life working. It’s time to approach it with the right mindset, and to subtract anything that gets in the way of being great at what you do professionally.
6. Digital Consumption
This is a tough one. People have become addicted to digital consumption. Its not all bad. What is bad is random aimless digital consumption. Scrollers. I feel sorry for scrollers. I see you, I can see your fingers moving about, oh the agony.
Look, I struggle with this. I get bored and feel the need to grab my smartphone to kill the boredom. But in that instant, what’s really missing is consciousness of goals, values, and purpose. So, instead of just grabbing the phone in an aimless manner, we should first re-center ourselves. Get in touch with the witnessing presence. From their, bring back to light the things that really matter to us. For me, I keep a list of those things. I value mental peace. I value physical health. I value getting better at my line of work. I value a continuously loving disposition. I value being a great father. I bring these things back into my consciousness. And from that place, my digital consumption makes sense. Its fruitful.
And from that place, useless digital consumption is subtracted. No more reading random commentary and opinions. No more falling for clickbait. My attention is left for things that matter to me, all else is subtracted.
7. Personal Habits
The last area we will talk about is personal habits. We all have them. Things we wish we didn’t do. Things we beat ourselves up about. We know we shouldn’t do them, but we do. We do them, and we beat ourselves up again. This is insane. We are insane.
So what do we do? We overeat. We drink. We smoke. We shop. We binge watch shows on Netflix. We oversleep. We lay on the couch all night. We bite our nails. We complain. We beat ourselves up. We depress ourselves with negative thinking. Yes, even bad thinking is a personal habit.
There is no easy solution to this. Habit is subconscious, and it takes time to break that. I have struggled with all of these things, and some of them I still struggle from. However, I’ve subtracted much of it as well.
To start, you first need to know what your habits are. It helps to sit down and reflect on them. Reflect on both the good and the bad ones. Continue to cultivate the good ones. Good ones for me are as follows: Visualize and mediate twice a day. Tell my children and family how much I love them and how proud I am of them. Exercise. Eat a big salad twice a day. Work hard in 2 hours increments. Take a 30 minute walk at lunch. Tell a co-worker how much you appreciate them. Write a blog post that can help other people.
Now, for the bad ones, this can be hard. It’s a question of will. Will to fight the habitual urges that will continue to arise from the subconscious. We need to strengthen that will. The way to strengthen the will to subtract bad personal habits is through re-programming your subconscious. Here is an approach that works for me, which I used during my 2 daily mediations:
Close your eyes, get sleepy (but not sleeping)
Connect with the witnessing presence, that which is their behind any notion
Visualize yourself no longer doing those things, or doing new things that replace those old habits. For example, if you have a habit of overeating bad food, visualize yourself being light, fit, eating a good meal.
Feel it. Feel the new you emotionally. Feel it.
Again, the goal of this visualization exercise is to reprogram your subconscious to subtract bad personal habits. You can learn more about it in my post here.
The Path of Subtraction: A Journey Within
The path of spiritual subtraction is deeply personal and unique to each of us. It's a continuous journey that requires courage, honesty, and truth. By identifying and letting go of what no longer serves, we make room for new growth, insights, and experiences that resonate more deeply with our goals, and our true Self.
Remember, one discovers that spirituality is not about acquiring more but about realizing more—more of who you truly are, beneath all that has been accumulated over a lifetime. This revelation is the heart of spiritual growth and the key to a life lived with authenticity, joy, peace, and fulfillment. We can become anything we desire. We just need to realize our power to create. Start with connecting regularly to the witnessing presence. From their identify what you really value, your purposes in life. Then identify the things you do that are not aligned with those values and purposes, and subtract them.